I’ve started taking pictures again.  I’d put down the camera for a while. There were many reasons for it – but one of them was that I felt I’d lost my way with my photography.  I entered a photography contest at the end of 2009 – and it left me feeling dirty. There was so much drama involved with it – rules that changed and rules that were bent by the organizers, a last minute addition of a public voting component, drama in the forums created for the contest.  And I didn’t like any of it – but I played the game and asked friends and family to vote for me, participated in the drama-ridden forums, and generally behaved like a good little contestant.  And WHY did I do this? Because, even thought it quickly felt dirty and contrived, I wanted to win all of their fabulous prizes. I pushed aside the negativity  I was feeling about the whole thing in an effort to win stuff. And this freaking contest was not even about photography! It was about who had the saddest story (or as they stated it – the most “inspirational” story). Entering your photographs was not even required, a video about you and why you deserved a “scholarship” was what was required. God, I’m an idiot.  I allowed myself to be a cute little puppet for someone else’s PR machine.  Freaking ridiculous.

Since the contest I’ve learned more about the “behind the scenes” stuff and felt even worse about the whole thing. And I read through the company’s website and that made me MAD. They are a company that purport to be about empowering women – and yet what I see from them is that they are infantalizing women. Girls can’t do math apparently (f-stops and ISOs are apparently beyond us), girls need to cry all of the time, girls need a therapist and life coach in order to make any and all decisions, and the only way for a mom to be a photographer is to be a family portraitist. Photojournalism, fine art photography, sports photography, travel photography – hell no. If you’re a mom and you have a camera you too can be a family portrait photographer also – just buy our videos, attend our workshops, and buy stuff from our sponsors. (Not that there’s anything wrong with family photography – I just think it’s odd it’s the only thing that’s pushed by this company and the way they push it.)

Anyway, selling out never feels good, and it caused me to take stock in what kind of photographer and person I want to be.  And I want to be true to myself, and my vision. I take pictures of things that move me. And hopefully they move other people also. Pointing my camera at something that doesn’t move me is not an option. There’s all kinds of photography out there and I’m not going to shoot something because someone else tells me it’s what I should be shooting.

So I’ve been slowly picking up my camera again.  Will and I went to the botanic gardens this past weekend and I took a lots of photos – the one above is my favorite.

It’s been quiet around this here blog and I’ll tell you the reason why – we’re moving – across the country – to Huntington, WV. I’m used to moving, I’m the master at moving, the clearing out, the massive yard sale, the selective selling of other things in other venues, packing, filling up the u-haul. I can move with one arm tied behind my back.
But, it’s what we’re leaving that is making it so hard to even say “moving” out loud. The friends who have become family, the best neighbors in the world, a school my son loves and thrives at, and The Wooden Cow – my baby – who’s only just a toddler still – still figuring things out there,and discovering it’s possibilities and it’s limitations.
An yet, the more I find out about Huntington, WV the more excited I become. This is a town that is working to remake itself, striving to become more that the railroad town it began as. Revitalization is it’s buzzword and I am looking forward to being a part of a community that is actively looking create a better version of itself. And the art community is small but active, and I hope to contribute as much as possible to it. I know the skills I’ve honed at The Cow will be useful in pushing Huntington’s artist community forward.

My poor little blog.  I’ve neglected you so.  I’ve rekindled my love affair with Flickr and it’s become my new blog.  I’ve had a lot on my mind recently – but haven’t been able to organize things in my head well enough to put them out to the world.  The biggest thing is a potential move.  The husband has a job interview if West Virginia and I’m trying to ignore that fact and just go about my business. And thinking about what I really want my life to be about – what is my “Dream Life”?

We went to the little town of Madrid, NM on Saturday. It’s an old mining town that was abandoned when the mine shut down, and was then rediscovered in the 60s/70s by hippies and artists and bikers. It is on the Turquoise Trail that runs from Albuquerque to Santa Fe. It is now half artist colony/half roughneck and is totally fun. We ate at the Mine Shaft a biker bar/local watering hole. We had a great lunch, listened to a cool singer/songwriter, Katie locked herself in the stall of the bathroom (just to add a little excitement to our day!) and had a fabulous time before heading back to Burque and then off to a party. A full day indeed! BTW, Katie is being a sheep in the photo – not sure why!
Oh yes – and Madrid was featured in the movie Wild Hogs!!

Check out more of Mosaic Monday here!

Allow me to introduce myself…

My name is Raine – I am self-named – my given name just didn’t suit
My favorite numbers are 3 and 19 – odd is better than even
I have a very hard time saying no – I leap at every opportunity offered to me
(sometimes to my detriment)

I love music – all music – classical to country to rock
I used to book bands in Seattle – still miss that job!
It was a great way to meet boys

I’m really great on first dates
I’ve been engaged five times,
married three

I love where I live – Burque is the home of my heart – and always will be
Blue skies that make you want to fly
Mountains that rise from every vista
And a ribbon of green that seems to go on forever

Photography feeds me, it is my manna from heaven
my children inspire me – I learn from them every day
my husband my unfailing advocate

I am stubborn as hell
don’t let me shy demeanor fool you
I love to WIN

I am Raine

Felt icky most of the day today – after rallying yesterday for a day of art I went right back to feeling crappy. Didn’t feel like having my picture taken but I persevered and then played with this a lot (obviously!). I did a split tone in my RAW editor, followed by a bi-color filter, and then a high key filter (both Color Efex Pro) and finally did a little dodging on the white of my eyes.

So this is the ubiquitous resolutions post – it’s pretty simple.

FOCUS!

Focus on photography – and by this I mean read every book and magazine I can get my hands on, utilize online sources – including classes, join some local photography groups and SHOOT everyday, even if it’s just silly stuff around my house. I’m doing a 365 Project and a 52 Weeks Project – working on a theme for that one.

We’ve had a very arty day so far. Went to the Albuquerque Museum, it was Family Day so Katie and Will both made art and Will and I went on a special “kid’s tour” of their current exhibition. Then we went to the Open Space Visitor Center and checked out David Cramer’s exhibit of wild horse photography, and then we went to the Factory on Fifth for their art opening. I was cool to see some familiar names of people that show or have shown at The Cow, and some intense work by artists I’ve never seen before. Very inspiring.

At the Factory there was a tree decorated with lots of big silver balls, and I chose those for my second self-portrait of the year.

So, I am participating in a 365 project. I’ve tried to do the photo-a-day thing the last two years and have failed miserably both years. This year I’ve added two things to increase my odds of finishing. I’m giving myself monthly themes, and I’ve joined a Flickr group of like-minded women. Let’s see what happens!

Our neighbors just had twins – they’re coming home from the hospital today!