Moment

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

I’ve thought about this one all day. And then one that I keep thinking about just makes me want to bawl my eyes out so I’m not sure I can write about it.

OK, the moment we left Albuquerque.

That was one of the best/worst days I’ve ever had. Chris and I had been living apart for over two months when he flew back to drive us and all of our stuff to Huntington. Two months of missing him and Katie (who was staying with Chris’ parents) and being a single parent to William. Two months of going through every single we owned, selling stuff, giving stuff away, packing everything that was deemed worthy of a cross-country move. Two months of saying goodbye to everyone I’d ever known in Albuquerque – over and over and over again. It had gotten to the point that I almost didn’t want to go out because I would inevitably run into someone and have to say goodbye AGAIN to them.

But I was also excited. I spent hours on Google maps and Bing maps (two windows going at the same time on my computer) searching for the perfect neighborhood, the perfect house. Chris was doing so much legwork in Huntington, while living with his brother and learning the ropes of a new job. I cruised Huntington Flickr groups, connected with area artists, even poked around checking out nearby churches (when I told my Chris about that one he asked what I’d done with his wife!).

I fantasized about how I would decorate our new house, dreamed about the new photos I would take (what do to with all of the green I would soon be seeing), gleefully anticipated all of the free time I would soon have as a stay at home mom (yeah, right – that never happened – I booked myself up very quickly). I love to move, but hadn’t for six years. I relished the thought of a new place, new people, new adventures. I have constantly reinvented myself throughout my adult life and was ready for another change.

And then the day came. And it was HOT, almost 100 degrees. The walls and ceiling of the Uhaul would literally burn us when we bumped against them. We started early, with the help of our awesome neighbor Jennifer. Box after box was loaded in.  All of the things we’ve collected together. Friends and neighbors stopped by during the day. Someone bring us cold drinks from Sonic, another brought us homemade tamales for lunch. So much directed love our way.

Around noon we realized our cat, Rocky, had been let out of the room we’d shut her in. Apparently all of the craziness had spooked her and off she ran. I started making rounds to all the neighbors that she hung out with (she’s very social) to see if she had run over to their houses.

I quietly panicked as we packed the last of the things into the Uhaul. We waited a few more hours hoping she would come back. Knowing that we had to get on the road that day – Chris was due back as work on Tuesday  we still had such a long trip ahead of us. One of my neighbors offered to corral her and take care of her and then we would figure out a way to get her to us.

A group of friends gathered as we loaded our our bags into the cab. I was so upset about Rocky I could barely stand to smile and hug everyone goodbye. They were all so awesome to be there to say goodbye to us but I just wanted to get on the road before I totally lost it. All of these horrible ideas bubbled up in my head – that I would never see Rocky again, never be as happy as I had been in Albuquerque, never make the amazing connections I had there. And yet I hugged everyone that had gathered, smiled my way through tears, and climbed into the Uhaul, snuggling in with William. I spent the first few hours just looking out the window until all of the landmarks I loved disappeared. Here’s my moment – I breathed deeply as we crossed into Texas, finally relaxed into the vinyl seat, the goodbyes were over, and the adventure was beginning.

PS. Our awesome neighbor did wrangle Rocky later that day and next week Rocky flew cross-country by herself and we picked her up in Cincinnati.

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