Beautifully Different

Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Wow, Reverb10 is not making things easy! I got so hung up on the Moment prompt and it took so long to think about and write that I am now woefully behind. Oh well, this prompt is from 12/8. We’ll see how I do on getting out quickly. Feeling ok so far.

Well, I know I’m different, and have known it forever.

I grew up in Louisiana in the 70/80s. Where you were white or black, but no one was brown – except me. Glaringly cafe au lait. It caused some issues – issues from other people and issues within myself. I distinctly remember getting fitted for glasses when I was in fourth grade (already an ordeal – I didn’t want to add to my otherness). And the optometrist was having problems finding glasses that fit my flat, brown nose. She asked me impatiently “What are you, anyway?” Like knowing how I came to have a flat, brown nose was going to help matters. I’ve heard that question so many times since then.

I’ve come to accept that question and deal with it based on the inflection of whoever is asking the question. And usually it’s just open curiosity. I know I don’t fit in any particular ethnic box. My parents are both Mexican – but as I’m adopted I don’t know exactly how that breaks down – do I have a lot a Spanish blood (I don’t think so based on my looks – maybe just a little), French maybe?, indigenous Mexican (definitely a lot based on my looks and body-type)? I don’t know and until I choose to try and find my birth parents it’s just going to be a mystery.

And I have a Anglo (Dutch to be exact) last name. My adopted Dad is of 100% Dutch descent. My mother is half Basque and half German. And they both strongly identify with those parts of themselves and so do I.

I blended so well in New Mexico which is a unique mix of Spanish, native, and Anglo. I looked like everyone else. Ahh, a blessed disguise. Now, in West Virginia, I’m getting that question again, and that’s ok.

So what am I? I’m a Mexican-American with strong Dutch/Basque/German influences who speaks a little spanish but can’t make a tamale to save her life.  I’m also a native of Louisiana who makes jambalaya every Christmas Eve, and hoppin’ john on New Year’s Eve. And I pull out  a pair of Dutch clogs every year at Christmas and place them on the mantle. And from my heart home, New Mexico, I’ve taken to putting out luminaria to guide the spirit of the Christ child into our home.

Merry Christmas to y’all til I saw you some mo!!!!! (from the Cajun Night Before Christmas)

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